ilackacreativenameformyblog: If you’d like to win my heart please give this to me
For the first eight years of our marriage, [Michelle and I] were paying more in...– President Obama in North Carolina today on why Congress has to act to prevent interest rates on student loans from doubling (via barackobama)
ALYSON NOELE: Barack Obama Picks Jay-Z Over Kanye... →
kanyedaily: teamkanyedaily: “Kanye or Jay-Z?” The president smiles. “Jay-Z,” he says, as if the answer should be obvious. “Although I like Kanye,” Obama continues, with an easy smile. “He’s a Chicago guy. Smart. He’s very talented.” Even though you called him a jackass?,” I…
No one will ever marry Goofy.– Bea, age 3 (via kellyoxford)
Listening to my husband talk to himself as he...
James: Imagine if we just could just show these people the internet?
James: (about christina hendricks) Oh my God. Look at her. Where did they find this woman?
James: Look at the crotch in those pants.
James: Joan looks like a porno Wilma Flintstone.
James: Oh God, Megan's teeth look like Billy Bob teeth, or like Shane McGowan... if Shane McGowan was really pretty and spoke French.
James: I'd screw Joan but I'd have to do it in the winter, because in the summer she'd get all sweaty. That's why her husband won't bring her to Vietnam.
James: What the fuck?
Me: He isn't really doing that. It's a hallucination, trust me. He's sick. I mean, where would Megan be?
James: I don't think I've ever been so sick that I thought I fucked and murdered someone. Ever. I have NEVER been that sick.
Dinosaur Comics - May 5th, 2005 - awesome fun... →
What’s On Your To Do List? Want To Know What Was... →
‘PHANT with ‘BETES